There is a strange conspiracy theory going around the internet these days, stop me if you’ve heard this one.
No, it’s not the one about Ukraine. No, it’s not about Donald Trump either. It doesn’t have anything to do with politics at all. It is this:
Seems credible. Strange things are certainly going on, and getting stranger by the day. Why not?
Scientists can’t entirely dismiss the possibly that we are living in a computer simulation, or merely existing in one of an almost infinite number of parallel universes, ours unique among the rest that did not meet the unbearably specific set of conditions required for life as we know it.
2012 was the year those scientists at CERN finished the world’s biggest super collider, and began making tiny black holes in order to study matter, anti-matter, dark-matter, quantum entanglement, spooky action at a distance, and all manner of other strange and potentially terrible forces in the Universe that are poorly understood by mankind.
Did the Earth get sucked into a a black hole in 2012 and we didn’t realize it?
We may seem stationary at this moment, but we really aren’t. Humans actually have quite a few more senses than the mere 5 we were taught in elementary school. One of those other, less well-known senses involves your ability to sense your body’s position in space.
Even if you couldn’t see, hear, touch, taste, or smell anything at all, you would still be able to sense if you were lying down, or sitting up, and how your limbs are positioned in the space you are occupying.
Except this sense doesn’t work all that well. Or rather, it works very, very well. Too well.
Our bodies may sense that we are stationary in space right now, stable. We may sense that we are holding still, are motionless. Not so.
This sense allows us ignore the fact that we are currently clinging via partially understood forces to the surface of a terrestrial blob hurtling through space at speeds difficult for humans to contemplate and spaces too vast to understand.
Our nervous system also helps us stabilize what we see in the mirror every day. Even when you think you are being perfectly still, advanced videography can reveal that your head is actually moving around with every heartbeat and breath you take, like a bobblehead. This video would also reveal rushes of blood into your face with every beat of your heart.
Keeping us unaware of this is a highly advanced function of the human brain.
Would that same advanced nervous system keep from humans the fact that we had been sucked into a tiny black hole? Sounds like the kind of thing it might do.
Let’s examine the evidence:
Exhibit A: U.S. Vice President Mike Pence’s speech in support of the demonstrations for democracy in Hong Kong, encouraging the people of Hong Kong to continue their peaceful protest. For this, Pence received the usual amount of criticism from the left.
Exhibit B: NBA heroes like Charles Barkley and LeBron James, darlings of the left, social justice warriors, never reticent in their criticism of the U.S. government, have taken the side of China’s authoritarian, communist regime.
For this, James and Barkely receive the usual amount of love from the left.
If this weren’t strange enough, Kayne West’s new album, titled “Jesus is King” finally dropped this week. Kanye’s all-gospel album is currently playing in Christian households and at family dinner tables across America by people who’ve likely never even heard of Kanye West until today.
The religious conversion of Kanye West appears to be genuine. If his album didn’t convince you, his behind the scenes reaction to his wife’s revealing Met Gala outfit might. Watching a rapper come to terms with society’s horrible tendency to sexually exploit women’s bodies, and his former role in spreading that social ill, in real time is worth sitting through an episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”.
In the post-2012 world, Kim Kardashian West is another thing that just doesn’t seem to quite fit.
Anyone still writing Kardashian-West off as a vapid internet model, or internet anything else for that matter, hasn’t been paying attention lately.
In addition to her continued success in television and retail businesses related to the Kardashian brand, Kim Kardashian West is studying to become an attorney.
It is perhaps her work on criminal justice reform, including her work with the Trump administration, that have led Kardashian-West to pursue a law degree. Her work securing early release for people serving unfairly long sentences has made a real difference in actual people’s lives.
Kardashian-West was instrumental in securing the recent release of Cytonia Brown, a woman who had been serving a life sentence for killing the man who purchased her for sex when she was 16.
So, Kanye West’s a Christian, LeBron James is a sell-out, Vice President Mike Pence is a folk hero of the democracy movement in Hong Kong and Kim Kardashian West is a better person than most of us.
Are we living in an alternate universe?
If a liberal news organization quotes former President George W. Bush on the subject of world peace, we’ll know for sure.
(contributing writer, Brooke Bell)